Where is the floor???

Here I am, wondering again how I keep allowing myself to get so upset over little things. I can't see the floor in my livingroom. That really isn't anything new, I very rarey see anything under the layer of toys and dirty clothes that seem to multiply either when I am away or sleeping. I just yelled at my boys, for nothing even that important. I love them...but can't wait for them to go to bed. No more candy...don't argue, just go brush your teeth. I think that is the fourth time I have said that in less minutes.

I think I have a headache. It may just be the constant banging of the high school band that is playing on the field at the football game across the street. Don't they know I want to go to bed? Some people are so selfish. And why does Alex care if Devin didn't brush his teeth for two minutes? If they are both upstairs, then neither of them brushed for two minutes. But, that doesn't matter to them, they just want the other to get in trouble.

Yes, it's definately a headache. I could take some asprin, but it won't stop the druming, or arguing, and it won't clean my house. So, whats the point? I have to go switch the laundry before I can even think about putting on my pajamas. I want to go over my notes from Breathe today. I want to remember to breathe right now. But, that's just one more thing for me to have to do before I can go to bed. That really is a shame. Breathing is so natural, you don't have to think about it. But that is the bodies way of survival. What am I breathing in? Wait..what's that smell? I really should see what may have died under the piles in my living room...wait, where is the dog? See, breathing is natural, but actually paying attention to what I breathe in and breathe out is difficult. I should be breathing life, but right now it smells like old socks.

Just keep living. Joy Hill said that today. I am living, my body is breathing....so why do I still allow myself to get angry over the little things. Well...this mess isn't little. But I'd rather go over my notes tonight then worry about the aroma. I hope the dog is outside...